


A Drawer Full of Shorts

by cardboardhydrates



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Drabble Collection, Gen, Tattoos, Underfell Papyrus, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-10-22 20:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10704315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardboardhydrates/pseuds/cardboardhydrates
Summary: Collection of short stories I've posted on tumblr. Tags will be updated as I post more on here!





	1. Edge Gets a Tattoo

Tattoos were a sign of strength in the Underground, evidence that you had enough HP that you could risk losing a few just to decorate your skin. The bigger the tattoo, the more HP you risked to get it, and the more impressive.

Naturally, The Great and Fearsome Papyrus had to get one too! Not just because Undyne had been praising R1 and R2’s full body tattoos and he wanted her to be impressed by him!

_Obviously._

No, it was merely a warning to others of how ferocious and mighty Papyrus was, so that instead of picking a fight with him and publically humiliating themselves, they would cower in fear instead. Papyrus was magnanimous that way.

Plus, he was going to look so fucking cool.

Now, if only the tattoo artist would stop staring at him and get on with the tattoo-ing, everything would be perfect.

“WELL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??” Papyrus growled. “QUIT STALLING AND GET ON WITH IT!”

“Um sir, I really don’t think this will be possible.” the tattoo artist stammered.

“WHAT?? WHY NOT?? ARE YOU SAYING I CANT HANDLE IT????”

“Look, I can try but I am almost positive that you need to have skin for this to work!”

It wasn't until they broke every single needle in the parlor trying to pierce his bone that Papyrus had to concede that maybe he had a point.

Fuck. He had already told every single member of the Guard that he was getting a tattoo! What was he going to do??

Papyrus dug around his supply closet, until he found the black paint Sans had used to paint his battle body. Opening up the can, he dipped a paintbrush into the paint and let it drip onto his left humerus. He shuddered at the awful, sticky texture.

He had to admit it looked nice. The price of being a cool guy was steep, but he could bear it.


	2. Vampire Papyrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becoming a vampire comes with some unexpected consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to serifsins for helping me with the ending of this! Check her out at serifsins.tumblr.com

Papyrus stared mutely at the red liquid that was now slowly spreading across the kitchen counter.

So far, he had dealt with becoming a vampire with a great deal of dignity. Sure, he was now a blood-sucking parasite, but he was still the Great Papyrus even so!

But this-this was just too much for even him to deal with. He could feel tears welling up in his eye sockets.

He cautiously attempted to poke at the red liquid again and hissed as it burned his bone.

How could he be the Great Papyrus if he couldn't even make spaghetti sauce?

The garlic in the once delicious and nutritious sauce was now excruciating for him to touch. Even the smell of it burned his nasal cavity so horrendously that he couldn't even inhale without choking. It was even worse than Sans’ closet.

"Papyrus? You okay?" Papyrus started at the feeling of Sans' hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly. He looked over at Sans who looked concerned, the way he had ever since Papyrus had undergone this transformation.

"I can't make spaghetti anymore," Papyrus sniffled. "What am I going to do now?"

On some level, Papyrus knew that he was overblowing this a little, but he appreciated when Sans just patted him on the back instead of saying so.

"Is it because of the garlic?" Sans asked. "Can you just make it without?”

Papyrus burst into tears. "I can't make spaghetti without garlic! I am not some plebian who does things like making garlic-less spaghetti??"

"What do you know about cooking anyways?? You made an EGGLESS quiche! That's the main ingredient???" Papyrus buried his skull in his hands and wailed mournfully. It just wasn’t fair! He had worked so hard on mastering the art of spaghetti-making, and now he couldn’t even do that anymore. 

He felt Sans wrap his arms around his waist. “…don’t be a rotten egg bro.” 

Papyrus huffed, face twitching with a repressed smile. “Sans…“

His brother continued on. “Besides, with all these new vampires running around the Underground, now there’s lots of monsters that can’t eat spaghetti anymore. I bet they all feel pretty sad about it too.”

Papyrus sniffled, “Everyone loves spaghetti…”

“Exactly, so if you made a new kind of spaghetti, that they could eat, I bet they’d be pretty happy, bro.” Sans grinned at him. “Might be a challenge, but its nothing the Great Papyrus can’t handle.”

Papyrus beamed and pulled Sans up in a big hug “Wow, I didn’t think of it like that! That was some sagely advice, nyeh-heh-heh!” 

Sans snickered, “You just need to spice up your recipe.”

“It will take some thyme,” Papyrus deadpanned.

“Just don’t spaghletti this get you down.” Papyrus cringed, the pun so terrible it was practically a crime against decency. Sans really needed some new material. 

“Very well then!! I will come up with a new recipe, that everyone, even vampire monsters such as myself, will love! If only to erase that joke from my mind!” He put Sans back down, now searching for his spaghetti-boiling pot. “But thank you.”


	3. Naps-with-Blook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans loves to nap, but its even better with a friend

It's hardly the first time Sans has fallen asleep during a hangout. And its hardly the first time he's fallen asleep on someone else's floor. 

Usually though, napping is more of a solitary pastime, something he does himself while whoever he's hanging out with wait s in exasperation for him to wake back up. 

He doesn't usually have someone suggest napping as a together activity.

"Do you......want to lay down on the floor.....and feel like garbage together with me? Its a family tradition......."

"sure, i love laying around." sans said with a shrug. "but uh, gotta warn ya, I'll probably fall asleep"

"I don't mind....if that makes you happy.....I can't sleep but, it looks nice..."

"eh, its a way to kill time. Without stabbing a clock. "

"Heh heh." From anyone else, Sans would have taken a reaction like that as a sign that his joke had fallen flat. From Napstablook though, he's learned that just because their reactions are reserved doesn't mean they contain any less emotion.

He has to admit, he can relate.

"Just lay down as long as you want......when you're ready to get up.....just move.....I guess....." 

Sans kneels down and lays back on the floor, staring up at the dusty, cobwebbed ceiling and sighs. He expects Blooky to break the silence, but they seem content to just lay there.

A song of Napstablook's is playing quietly over the speakers, a repetitive but hypnotic little tune. He doesn't even catch himself falling asleep.

Sans drifted awake to the soft sound of Napstablook humming, the track long over.

He sat up, his stiff bones groaning and clanking from spending who knows how long on the floor. Napstablook immediately got up when they noticed Sans waking up.

Sans chuckled, rubbing the back of his skull. "sorry, uh, didn't mean to sleep that long."

"No, it was...nice," Napstablook smiled. "Most people....get bored after a while....I'm glad you liked it so much...."

"sure thing, let me know the next time you want someone to do absolutely nothing with." Sans winked. "Call me up the next time you're feeling....boo."

Napstablook weakly chuckled, and Sans resolved to find a joke so terrible, even they wouldn't throw him a bone.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize to anyone who loves Underfell Papyrus and considers him cool, but I will forever poke fun at this edge lord


End file.
